Sports Dump Public Enemy #1: Pele Edition

There is one thing we don’t tolerate here on the Sports Dump, and that is Lionel Messi slander. I don’t care if you’re one of the greatest soccer players of all time or just some knuckle dragging, mouth breating Real Madrid fan, YOU DON’T CROSS THAT LINE! But that’s just what senile old Pele did yesterday.

“there’s always this Maradona comparison, saying that he’s better than Pele. Now some are saying that Messi is better than Pele. Well, he has to be better than Neymar first, which he isn’t yet. He has more experience.”

HOW DARE YOU SIR! Not only are you clearly delusional, you also sound ridiculous when you speak in the third person like that. Lionel Messi is the greatest footballer of all-time, ahead of you and that hand-balling cheater Maradona! Clearly Pele’s old age is getting to him and he is becoming senile. You had your time old man, now move aside and make room for the greatest ever…LIONEL MESSI!!!!

Messi also has the best hair.

Oh, and the guy who Pele claims is better than our beloved hero Lionel Messi? He looks ridiculous.

Watch your back kid, Messi is watching you…


5 thoughts on “Sports Dump Public Enemy #1: Pele Edition

  1. your argument loses credibility when you digress into hair-doos instead of discussing stats. if hair can make up for lack of soccer skills, bob ross would be the richard petty of futbol.

    • You want stats? How about these. How many debt crises has Pele solved? Zero. That’s how many. How many school children did he save from plunging off a cliff? Zero. How many kidneys has he donated to sick kids? Zero. How many times did Pele defeat Mothra? Have you forgotten about the time Lionel Messi assassinated Osama Bin Laden? Or the time he ended the Cold War?

  2. That’s not even considering the fact that Lionel Messi plays soccer with a bowling ball. Just to even up the odds.

  3. Pingback: Lionel Messi Scores Hat Trick Against Brazil | THE SPORTS DUMP

  4. Messi may even be on par with Chuck Norris.

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