Urninal Cakes Just Got Sexier. What, What?

In an effort to combat DUI arrest, the state of Michigan has deployed sweet talking urinal cakes to ask men to call a cab or call a friend they have had to much to drink.  Great idea, right?  The only problem I see is that us men are stupid.  I mean really stupid.

Here is how I see this going down.  I will use me at 22-years-old as an example.

Just imagine me at a bar, pounding Dbl Dave Blaney and Coke’s.  I’m feeling good and I am looking for a nice pretty lady to spend some time with.  I’m using all my best lines like “People call me Charlie, but you can call me tonight” or “If you were a burger at McDonald’s you would be called the McGorgeous” but nothing is working but the liquor.  I call a timeout and go to the head and regroup.  This is where things go bad.

I walk up to the urinal and start the “alcohol return process” and then I hear this majestic voice from the urinal.  The voice says “Please remember to call a cab or have a friend give you a ride home if you have had too much to drink.”, but I hear this “Let’s get in a cab and go home.”  Now I look down at the direction of this voice and instead of seeing a cigarette filled stink hole I see this face.

So I’m thinking I have struck out all night and the first lady that gets a look at me with my pants down is moving straight to the “home invite”.  So I say let’s go and grab her hand but she doesn’t budge.  So she wants to stay here for a while, so I figure sure whatever.  I ask for a kiss and she doesn’t say no, she only says something about getting a cab again so I move in.

If you reading Michigan, please put an end to this.  This effort will not decrease DUI arrest but only increase face-to-urinal contact.  Take a stand and do what’s right.


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