The Morning Dump: 7/25/12

Come on Wednesday, be good to me.

George Jefferson has moved on up.  God speed.

Team USA showed Spain that while they may have the best soccer team ever, they got nothing on USA basketball.

Mickey Rourke is floating around the story that he beat Usain Bolt in a drunken 30-meter dash outside a London club at 4am.  I am waiting for Bolt to collaborate the story.

William Staub, the inventor of the home treadmill, died yesterday at 96-years-old.  He went out like he always wanted to go…  Turning the treadmill up to 20 mph and trying to jump on it.  R.I.P. William Staub

The Timberwolves are close to bringing the AK-47 back from Russia to help tighten up their inside defense.  I love that anorexic Ivan Drago.

The Dodgers made a big move to get Hanley Ramirez from the Marlins.  Ramirez is an elite talent but has been down over the last 2 years.  It’s a big investment/risk for L.A.,  but if he works out it could be huge for the Dodgers.

My Saints are going to break the 11 season streak of the Super Bowl host team not making the playoffs.  Who Dat?

The Nashville Predators did the only thing they could do and match Shea Weber’s 14-year, $110 mil offer sheet from the Flyers.  They had to make a statement to their fan base.

Do you want to learn the “Dream Shake” from Hakeem Olajuwon?  It will cost you $50k per week, but it’s well worth it to work over your boys down low on the court this fall.  Lebron is only charging $20 to teach you the “Lebron Flop”.

A.J. Allmendinger has failed his B-Test and has been suspended indefinitely by NASCAR.  I hope he completes the mandated program and can get back on the track next season.

SportsBettingOnline has decided to refund all bets on Adam Scott for his Open Championship choke-job.  I don’t like that books are now getting soft.  I may have to change careers and dirty the gambling game back up.  How can you break legs if you are also giving money back to people with bad loses?  Pete Rose didn’t get banned from baseball for doing gambling for nothing.  The mob would have never built Vegas if they gave back bad beats.  Weak!

The Carolina Panthers’ Ryan Kalil took out an ad in the Charlotte Observer today saying the Panthers will win the Super Bowl this year.  I think it’s going to be hard to reach the playoffs with a 6-10 record.




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